11 Aug new normal
I needed to get really quiet over the past few months.
Like everyone else, my world turned upside down. And it required me to press pause. I needed time to reacclimate. I needed to be 100% at home, focused on my family, and creating safety & routine. But I focused so hard on everyone else being okay, I somehow lost myself. ALL of my routines and supportive structures went out the window. When I needed them most, I let them go. I reverted back to my old comforts. Trading drinking lots of water, meditating, & journaling for watching TV, drinking too much coffee, craving salty comfort foods, and staying up late & sleeping in.
That’s not all. My business was affected & I watched all I had worked for the past 3 years shrink overnight. I felt depressed. I took it personally.
I was off track and I knew it. It was a clear example of what I know is true: when we are under major stress, we revert back to our old patterns & comfort zone. I let my scared, uncertain-self take the driver’s seat. It would be easy to judge myself thinking I was lazy, undisciplined, and “I should know better.” But instead, I chose to accept that’s what I needed at the time to feel safe & function. I was in survival mode and grasped for what I could. I decided to throw away any judgement; there’s already enough of that out there.
Return to myself
Sometimes it takes getting way off track to be remember just how good “on-track” feels. It’s the motivation we need to realize when we’ve had enough of that old-routine life, and are ready to return. Not because we have-to, or should… but because we want to. It also reaffirmed that I am more calm, focused, and happy when I prioritize my own needs.
I know for some of you that may be hard to hear. It sounds selfish & self-indulgent. Like, “what kind of woman/mother/spouse always puts herself first??”
One that wants to be happy.
One that knows if I’m not paying attention to my own needs, food choices, and lifestyle habits that help me feel my best, that everything & everyone around me will be getting a worse version of me. I can’t show up for my passions or the people in my life, the way I expect and they deserve, otherwise.
It took me time to just be and assimilate all that the last 5 months has taught me, to be ready to return. As a more whole & invigorated version of myself.
Trend in the right direction
I felt it was important to share this story, because so many of us feel like our path to better health, finding our passion project, or life’s story is supposed to be this upward linear progression. That “once you know better you do better,” and if you don’t, you’re somehow failing. Well, that’s the opposite of what I’ve witnessed in my own life, or with my clients.
We need the down times to reinforce what we’ve learned, to test us, and solidify that it’s where we want to be. It’s all part of the learning journey, helping us to realize what’s important, rather than a pass/fail grade on a daily basis.
The goal is, that over time, you trend in the right direction. That’s the growth.